whether or not Your lips move

You speak to me

solitude vs. isolation June 15, 2008

Filed under: community, faith, loneliness — Ash @ 3:42 pm

Solitude

I enjoy being alone. Sometimes there is nothing I love more. When I spend some quiet, slow moments by myself, I find it easier to relish God. His soft whisper of a voice becomes a little clearer. In my alone times, I can really process through things that need to be sorted out in my mind and soul. The busyness and demands of life can be pushed aside, even if it’s just for a little while. Sometimes my times of solitude last a little longer than I’d like, and sometimes they are arduous– but I know that in them I am never really alone.

We all need solitude.

 

Isolation

I hate being lonely. Sometimes there is nothing I loathe more. I’ve had seasons in my life when I felt absolutely cut off from the rest of the world, invisible in the middle of a crowd. Even God seemed far away. In my efforts to appear strong, I built up walls that would prevent anyone from knowing who I really was… If they really knew, they would run for their lives. Therefore busyness and demands of life helped me push others aside– even those who were reaching out to me. Times of isolation can keep you longer than you ever wanted to stay.

We all need community.

As I live out these days of my life, few though they have been, I become more and more convinced of this fact. We all need community. Not a place to go on Sundays, but true community with other followers of Christ.

As I observe the paths of dear lovers of Jesus, myself included, I see that the road to destruction begins with isolation from other followers of Christ.

Isolation is a slippery slope. Whatever propels you into isolation, at first it seems a little more safe and comfortable; after all, it means you won’t get hurt. Or so you start off thinking.

You start to get used to no one really knowing what it is that you do with your time. Your friendships become more and more shallow. Before you know it, you’ve gone weeks or even months without having a meaningful, face-to-face conversation about how you are really doing deep down in your soul. God’s soft whisper of a voice gets drowned by thoughts like, “He doesn’t really know what’s best for me. If He did, I wouldn’t be here.” And once this seed of distrust is planted and starts to grow ugly, you look around and don’t see anyone who knows how or is willing to help you weed it out. So you come to accept it, prickly and thorny and exhausting as it is, and decide to just make the best of things on your own. But what you don’t see is that vine of distrust slowly winding itself around you, just waiting to choke the life out of you.

If there’s one thing I ask permission to beg of you today, it is this: please don’t let yourself stay isolated. All along the way, you always have a choice. I know from experience that it isn’t easy to put yourself out there, especially if you are more introverted, if you’ve really been burned by “organized religion,” or if you’re just plain uncomfortable around people you don’t know. And I know how hard it is to be the new guy, the outsider, and even feel sort of like an intruder. But you know what? When you find a group of true followers of Jesus, they’ll recognize this because they once were in your spot. And even though it may take a try or two on your part (they’ll be human too, after all), they’ll meet you halfway– your terrifying act of bravery will not go unnoticed.

Please, please don’t give up…

 

hope in the Lord April 10, 2008

Filed under: faith, poetry, relationship with God, waiting — Ash @ 10:41 am

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So my soul pants for You, O God.

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God;
When shall I come and appear before God?

My tears have been my food day and night,
While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”

These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.

O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.

The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life.

I will say to God my rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”

As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me,
While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

~Psalm 42

Chronic pain, restricted foods, bouts of despair
Longing for relief or at least an explanation
Wondering what might be next
Days when I feel like I can’t go on–
It’s gonna take more than this to take me out.

Hope in the Lord
Will sing my soul.

 

the day of waiting March 22, 2008

Filed under: Easter, faith, waiting — Ash @ 10:14 am

I love Easter (or Resurrection weekend as we should call it… or something not tied to a fertility goddess?). I especially love when Easter and Passover coincide. It’s only been the past couple of years that I’ve been really investigating the Jewish festivals and feasts and how they are connected to followers of Christ. Last year Passover and Easter were really close to each other, and Aaron and I attended our first Passover Seder. It was incredibly meaningful and interesting, and I hope we can go again this year (April 20).

I like to think back to what it might have been like for those who were there when Jesus was crucified and buried. I wonder what Saturday was like for them… Jesus had been brutally killed the day before, and the Sabbath was coming. Not just any Sabbath– a high Sabbath, since it was Passover. On Friday afternoon, Joseph of Arimathea, a good and righteous man and a secret disciple of Jesus, stepped up to the plate and courageously asked Pilate for Jesus’ body. Nicodemus (another “secret” disciple it seems) brought about a hundred pounds of spices and aloes to treat Jesus’ body (John 19:39). They wrapped Jesus’ body in linens with the spices according to their customs. The women who followed Jesus took care to watch and be sure Jesus’ body was properly cared for.

“Now in the place where He was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. Therefore because of the Jewish day of preparation, since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.” (John 19:41-42)
“And Mary Magdalene was there, and the other Mary, sitting opposite the grave.” (Matthew 27:61)
“And on the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment.” (Luke 23:56)

I wonder what it was like for Jesus’ followers on that Sabbath. I wonder what was going through their minds. Did some of them understand what Jesus had been telling them and hope that He would be back the next day? Were others devastated and depressed? Did others question the last few years of their lives, wondering if it had been all for nothing? Were some fearful that they would be the next ones to be killed? Did they doubt God?

In my life I have had many “waiting times”. “In-between times” where I wonder what in the world has just happened. When I sit and try to keep breathing despite the pain. Times when I am angry, confused, lost… raising my head to the sky in a silent scream, asking God “WHY?” Times when I battle within myself between holding God at arms’ length and having childlike trust in Him. Sometimes the childlike trust seems foolish, and human logic threatens to win me over to depression. Other times I stare pain and fear in the face and say quietly, “My God is able.”

In those times, I have no idea what is coming next. Every second is a choice to believe God is who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do.

“And now, Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.” (Psalm 39:7)
“My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him.” (Psalm 62:5)
“I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail while I wait for my God.” (Psalm 69:3)

Today is a day of waiting. Thank God for tomorrow.

 

who is challenging us? March 18, 2008

Filed under: faith, mentoring, relationship with God, sacrifice — Ash @ 8:59 pm

I came across this website a few days ago and was amazed. Take a moment to check it out. Particularly take a look at the “Declare Peace” section and all the things listed there as points of action.

I think it is really interesting that an organization such as this one, supported by very few ‘Christian’ organizations from what I can gather, seems to be doing a better job of encouraging radical, sacrificial care on a personal level for the ”fatherless and the widow” than the Church as a whole is (at least the Church in America). I have no idea what sort of response they’ve seen, and I know that we in America have countless amazing relief organizations and Christ-following mission organizations, and I love what they do and I participate whenever possible. I’m thinking more along the lines of individual, personal willingness to rise to a challenge and take a risk.

I get the feeling that followers of Christ nowadays want to be asked to go to the next level, to take a leap of faith, to go the extra mile, to have something expected of us. We want to count the cost and go for it. We want to give something priceless to others that comes from the depth of our souls. None of this surfacey crap. I want someone to challenge me, to motivate me, to push me to a deeper trust in my Jesus– even if it’s terrifying and uncomfortable. ESPECIALLY if it’s terrifying and uncomfortable. And I want them to take the plunge alongside me. I’m getting the feeling that we want to see our God be huge for us. We want to see Him for who He is and not just who we’ve been told He is. We don’t want to be satisfied– we want a “divine discontent” so that we can be ever searching the depths of our mysterious yet intimately-knowable God.

Who is challenging us?

Are you being challenged? If so, what does it look like?

 

worship is multi-faceted February 23, 2008

Filed under: relationship with God, worship — Ash @ 1:17 pm

I’ve always been fascinated by people. I love to watch them when they don’t know they’re being watched (no, I’m not a stalker). Whenever we’d take road trips as kids, one of our favorite activities was to count the number of people in other cars that were picking their noses. (This was before those nifty portable DVD players, we had to have some way of entertaining ourselves.) As I got older, the airport became one of my favorite places to watch people. (Before 9/11 when we could wait at the gate.) I loved watching couples and families reunite. I always had to repress the urge to go up and ask them why their reunion was so meaningful, where have you all been and how long were you apart.

Over recent years, my favorite time to watch people is during church worship gatherings. I’ve been a part of many different types of churches and faith organizations, and each one has had its own way of worshiping God through music and song. I love Mosaic, our church now, because we have such a neat blend when it comes to worshiping God. When I look around the room on Sundays, I see people lifting their hands, I see people closing their eyes, I see people who are trying to keep up with an unfamiliar song, I see people who might look bored to someone who didn’t know better. Each of these worshipers is experiencing God in his or her own unique way. And some of them may not best express their relationship with God through music or song at all.

In our community group (which meets at our house on 2nd and 4th Wednesdays), we’ve begun taking a look at the ways God has wired each of us to express our relationship with Him. I’m uber excited about this, because worshiping God is so important. Growing up, I always assumed that “worship” meant “a Sunday morning or evening service in which we sing songs and hear a sermon”. But it’s SO much more than this.

I love singing. It has been a passion of mine as far back as I can remember. God used the Little Mermaid to inspire me to start singing. (Go ahead and laugh.) It’s a release for me. It’s one of the ways I love to worship God.

Not everyone loves singing. Some people hate it because it makes them uncomfortable, or they think that they can’t carry a tune (and the “make a joyful noise” verse doesn’t always encourage them). I remember friends who constantly were frustrated because they were beating themselves up for not enjoying singing praise and worship songs. They thought they were disappointing God. I wish I could have told them back then what I know now– it’s probably because God has given you a different way to worship Him! AND primarily because our definition of worship is far too limited.

WHAT IS WORSHIP? I would define worship as anything we do that makes us (and others) see God for Who He is. We are worshiping God when we bring Him honor.

So. What forms does worship come in? Here are a few of my ideas (and of course there are a ton more).
* singing
* dancing
* painting
* looking at the stars
* sitting beside the ocean
* feeding the hungry
* taking soup to someone who’s sick
* visiting a nursing home
* cooking a meal for neighbors
* taking a vow of silence
* studying church history
* discussing a deep theological truth
* taking communion
* tending a garden
* participating in a liturgy
* writing in a journal
* hugging people
* sitting quietly/meditation
* writing out what you believe
* letting someone go ahead of you in line
* being ethical at work and school
* tipping well when you go out to eat

Basically ANY and EVERY action we take, word we say, thought we think can be worshipful.
Romans 12:1-2 describes in a nutshell what I see as worship. I’ll write it out in a couple of different translations.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God– this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is– his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)

“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice– the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.” (NLT)

We are making much of God when we live our lives sold out to loving Him and others. We are seeing God for Who He is when we allow Him to transform our ways of thinking, and when we allow Him to call the shots in our lives. (Transformation of the mind will probably be explored in a later post.)

WHY SHOULD WE WORSHIP GOD? Forgive me if this seems too simplistic, but because He is worthy. “When you think of what He has done for you, is this too much to ask?”
“Ascribe to the Lord the glory due to His name; worship the Lord in holy array” (Psalm 29:2, NASB).
“Give honor to the Lord for the glory of his name. Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness” (Psalm 29:2, NLT).
There are many books written on this subject. Perhaps I’ll do a post at a later time on this.

HOW SHOULD I WORSHIP GOD? This is where the fun part comes in for me lately. I had our community group take an awesome quiz/inventory thing that comes from the book Sacred Pathways by Gary Thomas. I strongly recommend getting this book. It explores nine different “worship styles” (ways that people express their worship/relationship with God). I love how diverse our small group is, although I find it interesting that we are heavy on the contemplative and intellectual sides. We also have a few naturalists, a couple caregivers, some activists, and some ascetics. And really, everyone has at least 2 or 3 worship styles that they’re wired with. I hope that they’ve found this as interesting and freeing as I have! (My dominant worship styles are contemplative and intellectual, followed closely by enthusiasm.)

I think the main point is not necessarily just to do things that we enjoy, but instead to enjoy God through doing them.

WHERE SHOULD WE WORSHIP GOD? I think that corporate, or group, worship is important. What form it takes is up to the group (as we’ve seen above). At Mosaic, we have folks who love to go hiking together. We have groups who make Christmas cards for those in nursing homes. We love putting together care kits for the homeless. We get together on Sundays and sing praises. We get together at coffee shops and pray. We get together in homes and study God’s Word.

Worshiping God individually is equally important. We are each responsible for our own actions, thoughts, and words. We can utilize moments throughout our day to worship God. We are honoring Him when we don’t flip off the person who cut us off in traffic. We are honoring God when we do our best at work or school, and not just when the boss/teacher is looking. We are honoring God when we clean up after ourselves at a restaurant. We are honoring God when we speak lovingly to our families. We are honoring God when we engage in activities that flow with our worship styles. We honor God when seeking His face in prayer, when reading His Word, and through loving others in practical ways.

Worship is multi-faceted. I hope that you seek ways to honor God and let Him know how much you love Him. He rejoices over you when you enjoy Him.

 

works-based sin February 21, 2008

Filed under: faith, love, relationship with God, sin — Ash @ 11:05 pm

One evening Aaron and I were at a great Thai food restaurant with a couple of friends. It was quite a long time ago so I can’t really remember the exact conversation, but we were discussing sin and redemption and other fun things. Somewhere along the way I said something about how we don’t want to base our salvation on works, and yet we base our sin on them– works-based sin.

Works-based (or “legalistic”) Christianity tells us we have to do and say all the right things, and avoid all the wrong things, in order to be good little boys and girls. Most Christians will say they don’t have a works-based view of their relationship with God. But do we of sin?

I’ve been rolling the thought around in my head for a few years now and have been asked by some new friends what “sin” is. In the past I’ve described it as “missing the mark” (like when you’re shooting at a target and miss the bullseye) which is what the Greek word most often used in the New Testament technically means, although its usage brings a little more into the picture. Here are some definitions from Strong’s (I cut it down a bit but if you want to check it out for yourself there is a free tool at www.blueletterbible.org):

(a) a principle or source of action, or an inward element producing acts, e.g., Rom 3:9; 5:12,13,20; 6:1,2; 7:7 (abstract for concrete);
(b) a governing principle or power, e.g., Rom 6:6; “(the body) of sin,” here “sin” is spoken of as an organized power, acting through the members of the body, though the seat of “sin” is in the will (the body is the organic instrument);
(c) a generic term (distinct from specific terms such as No. 2 yet sometimes inclusive of concrete wrong doing, e.g., Jhn 8:21,34,46; 9:41; 15:22,24; 19:11);
(d) a sinful deed, an act of “sin,” e.g., Mat 12:31; Act 7:60; Jam 1:15 (1st part); 2:9; 4:17; 5:15,20; 1Jo 5:16 (1st part).

In my most recent conversation about the definition of “sin” I tried to describe it in terms of inner motivation rather than mere outward action. Otherwise I think we run the risk of basing too much on our “works”. Please don’t hear me say that our actions are not important– they absolutely are. They speak louder than words. God has commanded us to do many things throughout His Word. However, in this sense, I hope we can avoid limiting “sin” to our outward actions when it initially takes place at the soul level. Or, as our first definition above says, “the source of action.”

Followers of Christ believe that we cannot do anything to earn a relationship with God. We can’t do anything to wash away the guilt of our past mistakes. We can’t do anything in and of ourselves to make ourselves truly happy in this life. Left to ourselves, we can’t have a hope of a life with God after we depart from this earth. If we could do something on our own to make all that happen, why in the world would God have let Jesus die such a horrible, gruesome, devastating death?

Jesus said that He is the way, the truth, and the life. He is the One Who, on our behalf, made peace with God– He had no sin, but took the punishment for the sin of the world. He purchased our forgiveness and new-found innocence with His blood. He gave us the right to be called God’s kids. He brings us overflowing life– life full of not only stinkin’ awesome moments, but also really blasted tough ones. And He will welcome us to His side when we leave our dusty jars of clay behind.

So how do we get in on this?

Grace.

Throughout the New Testament we’re reminded that we cannot “earn” this grace. Grace by its very nature is “un-earnable” if you will.

But surely we have some part to play in this thing, right?

Yes.

This is the part where faith comes in. I like to think of faith as a conduit, a lifeline, an aqueduct, or what have you. Faith connects us to God. To His heart. All sorts of things come to us through that conduit of faith. Grace comes to us through faith: “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9, NASB). Faith is essentially trusting God that He is Who He says He is and that He can do what He says He can do.

So what do we do with this faith? “Salvation that comes from trusting Christ– which is the message we preach– is already within easy reach. In fact, the Scriptures say, ‘The message is close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart.’ For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, ‘Anyone who believes in Him will not be disappointed.’ (Romans 10:8-11, NLT).

Sin is doing the wrong thing. But more than that, sin is knowing the difference between the right and wrong thing, and still doing the wrong thing. Sin is also doing the wrong thing unintentionally, as we see from our definitions above; sin can have such a hold on us, such a power over us, that we don’t even realize how deep we’ve gotten into it. Sin can numb us to God’s voice. Sin can fool us into thinking that we are having a great time, when deep down we know we are drowning. Sin will keep us longer than we intended to stay and take more from us than we ever wanted to give. (And yes, I know what I’m talking about, I’ve been there– even as a Christ follower.)

So all this to say, for the follower of Christ, having been forgiven and having received all the benefits of being connected to God, what role does sin play in our newly created selves? Do we avoid doing/saying/thinking the wrong things just because we shouldn’t do/say/think them? Or is there a deeper level now, a level of our souls that knows when we do/say/think sinful things, it hurts God’s heart? Will we allow ourselves to move to a much more vulnerable place with God– a place where we allow the things that hurt Him to hurt us, too? The question then becomes not “how sinful can I get away with being” but “through God’s power, how Christ-like can I be?” We move away from a works-based view of sin and closer to the Father’s heart.

For those of us who follow Christ and yet struggle with the power sin seems to have over us, know that the same grace that God lavished on you when you first decided to follow Him is like a bottomless well. Hook up your faith pipeline to it and drink it in. Pour it over your head. Swim in it. Whatever you do, don’t allow the sorrow of your sin keep you from running into God’s arms. That’s just what satan, the one who loves to see you as screwed up as possible, wants you to do– be so full of shame that you can’t bear the thought of opening that part of you to God. Guilt is sometimes necessary because it leads us to change our course of action and choose the better path that God has for us. But once we are going in the right direction again, we have no business feeling guilty anymore (check out 2 Corinthians 7:10). GOD LOVES YOU. When you talk to Him, He smiles like a proud parent. When you come to Him, He welcomes you like a lover. HE WILL NOT REJECT YOU. Let Him free you from whatever “it” is. It may take some time and the road may seem long and painful, but trust me… it’s worth it.

 

I stand amazed in the presence… February 13, 2008

Filed under: love — Ash @ 9:32 am

I had a particularly wonderful morning of worship today. Singing with the choir at work, the only way to describe what happened this morning is that the Holy Spirit fell. We are always in the presence of our Savior, but there are times when He feels particularly close. This morning was one of those times.

“I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene, and I wonder how He could love me—a sinner, condemned unclean. How marvelous, how wonderful! And my song shall ever be: how marvelous, how wonderful is my Savior’s love for me.”

I couldn’t make it through the song without crying. I had to just let the tears fall. Tears can be so heavy with God’s glory. I hoped no one was looking at me.

Later as I was sitting alone, I let the words wash over me again. I am no longer condemned unclean. There is no condemnation in Christ. This is something that was a long struggle for me to fully embrace, as I had grown accustomed to punishing myself if someone else wasn’t doing it.

I told Jesus, “I really just wish I could be with You. I get so sick of myself.”

His response came, “But I love you.”

I said, “But I’m proud.”

Again, His response was, “But I love you.”

I protested, “But I do so many stupid things.”

The gentle answer came again, “But I love you.”

I thought of a dozen other things I could say about myself, but realized that His answer is always going to be the same:

“But I love you.”

 

known no longer January 8, 2008

Filed under: poetry — Ash @ 9:29 pm

Known no longer
the sun has risen
the sun has set
we have played our part

Known no longer
the crescendo has come
to its end
we have played our part

was it like lightning
or a longer burning coal
perhaps a star
or the moon

Known no longer
woven in time
hidden beneath
we have played our part

Known no longer
the circle completed
moments dance posthumously
we have played our part

was it like thunder
or a whisper in the dark
perhaps a cadence
or more like silence

Known no longer
we have played our part

 

so…. about that September 8, 2007

Filed under: Deeper Still, calling — Ash @ 10:09 pm

I started seminary… which means I think Isaiah is on hold for a bit. 

I’m in an intro to New Testament class and another called the Ministry of Leadership.  Both classes have been absolutely great.  NT has been a good refresher from undergrad, and with a bit more detail.   Min. of Leadership has been great in helping with clarifying some issues for me, while stirring up some others for me. 

The idea of having a “calling” has always been somewhat illusive and mysterious to me.  I’ve been looking back on the past many years of my life, looking at what I enjoyed doing as a child, taking personality tests, and such.  Trying to allow God to further clarify for me the next steps in the journey.  I just came from the Deeper Still conference (which was amazing btw) and came away with a few thoughts on calling, and other things that will probably need to wait for another post. 

I realized quite some time ago that I really struggle with fear and insecurity.  I think it is ok for me to be a little insecure and not quite so self-confident, because it means that God has to do more work than I do and therefore He gets credit.  And I pray almost daily with all my heart for God to remove any ounce of pride in me.  Fear however, can’t have a place in my life because perfect love casts out fear, God has not given me a spirit of fear, and all over the place in Scripture God is like, “Hey!  Be strong and courageous!”  And really, there’s too much to do and too much going on in this world and the one unseen for me to sit around peeing my pants in fear.  And apparently God wants to get through this message to be courageous because we’ve talked about it in class, it was talked about this weekend, and I’m reading it in just about every leadership book I’ve got on the list right now.

But back to the calling thing.  I think I’ve always felt a calling toward teaching God’s Word, whether through writing or teaching a ‘class’ or one on one.  And honestly, there is nothing that gets me more excited than searching Scripture and researching and having that “a-ha” discovery moment, and then helping someone else have an “a-ha” discovery moment.  I get bored very easily and have to always have some sort of challenge before me or else I start to kinda lose my mind.  So discovery is extremely important to me, and when I discover something I get super excited and just really want to tell whoever will listen. 

So therein lies some of my struggles with my calling– I fear not having anyone to tell.  (I’m pretty sure Aaron will tell me this is a silly fear since I technically am a published Bible study writer.)  I don’t want an audience, I don’t want fame, I don’t want money.  God spoke to me this weekend that even if the only ’students’ I ever have are my own children, my masters degree will be worth it.  If there is only one person who is ever effected by my writing, it will be worth it.  I will have fulfilled my calling to help someone discover something new, look at something in a different way, to love God and others more. 

So I’ve been able to narrow the calling down to what it seems they’ve always been: write, teach, love college students (after being a wife and one-day-mom of course).  Now, what that all looks like is still a mystery to me in a lot of ways.  It’s a small percentage of people who get to write and teach full time.  And my reality right now is that I answer phones and do customer service (which is an important job but one that may or may not be a fulfillment of my calling).  Another thing God used to speak to me this weekend was the fact that King David was anointed as king of Israel at the age of 15, but it took 22 years for him to actually sit on the throne.  The day after he was anointed he went back to tending the sheep.  And then he got a promotion to taking lunch to his brothers.  BUT he was still the anointed king.  He didn’t just merely survive for 22 years (although he did do that, that Saul sure was out to get him), he thrived.  He took down Goliath, became a skilled warrior, nurtured a heart that beat for God.  And that’s what I need to do, too.

Well, that was a bit more than I expected to write tonight…

 

Isaiah May 11, 2007

Filed under: isaiah — Ash @ 1:58 am

Isaiah has been my favorite book of the Bible ever since I first read it.  There was just something about the words on the pages that jumped out at me and stuck to my heart.  The themes of captivity, freedom, rebellion, and obedience are rich among Messianic prophecies, and the entire book points to Christ.  I think it’s been my own personal experience that drew me most to these themes– my successes and failures alike.  I’ve had the desire to write about Isaiah for about a year now, and all along the way I have felt a little presumptuous for even thinking about pursuing such a high and lofty task.  I mean seriously– I may have a religion degree but as of today I am not in seminary (that’ll hopefully change this fall!), and I’m sure there are others who could do (and have done) Isaiah more justice than I will.  But when God says jump, it’s always best– and the most fun– to jump.  So, thanks for jumping with me.  It is my earnest hope and prayer that you hear God speaking to your heart through His Word.