whether or not Your lips move

You speak to me

answering the question: question #2 May 20, 2009

Filed under: healthy relationships series — Ash @ 9:39 pm
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Question #2: Should I be in a committed relationship with this person?
If the answer to Question #1 was yes, you will want to spend some time dating. Dates should consist of fun outings that provide time for talking and that don’t put you in situations in which you will be tempted to compromise yourselves physically. Anything beyond holding hands should really be off limits in a dating relationship. (I’ve been called names for saying that, too.) You should talk about a wide range of subjects, but avoid bonding emotionally and spiritually to each other too quickly. It’s important to continue to guard your heart. Most followers of Christ want their relationships to be centered on God, which is totally awesome–but don’t risk bonding on such a powerful level too soon by praying together alone.

Personally I don’t think it is wise to date more than one person at a time. It can get very complicated and people can get hurt even more easily than they already do.

If the answer to this question becomes “yes,” you will need to have what some have come to call a “DTR” (determine the relationship talk). Take some time to talk about where you feel this relationship is going, and that you think it should be taken to the next level. It is my opinion that the guy needs to be the one to initiate this. It will set the standard for the rest of the relationship. Girls, if you start feeling like you’re in a dating relationship that isn’t going anywhere and the guy hasn’t made his intentions clear, you totally have the right to know what is going on in that head of his (and what isn’t), so don’t be afraid to ask. Just don’t do it after the first date or two. It tends to scare them off. 😉

If the answer to this question becomes “no,” don’t wait around too long to let the person know. It is extremely unfair to you both. It won’t be fun; no one likes to break up. But, the relationship will have successfully answered the question and hopefully you both will have learned more about yourselves and healthy relating.

Stay tuned for Question #3…

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