We’ve all been there. Completely heartbroken and crushed. We totally thought HE (or SHE) was THE ONE. Where did it go wrong?
When Aaron and I were just re-getting to know each other, he introduced me to a genius concept. I wish I had known about it years earlier. I would have saved myself a lot of “self-bashing”.
The goal of a relationship should not necessarily be marriage. (I know, I know–duh.) The goal of a relationship should be simply to answer a question. This way, you have always been in a successful relationship and have greater opportunity to be God-honoring within it. The given for all of these steps is that you will cover everything you think and do in prayer. There will be 4 questions.
Question #1: Should I date this person?
This one can be tricky depending on your definition of date. I didn’t always say this, but I should have and do now: any time you spend alone with a member of the opposite sex is a date. (I have been called names for saying that.) I really believe that if everyone, especially students and young adults, would operate under this principle a whole lot of confusion could be avoided. Trust me on this one. (Yes, many stories go along with that, but again, for other posts.)
Anyhow, the way to answer this question is to hang out in groups and in varying situations. You want to see what this person is all about. How does he react to a long wait for a table at a restaurant? What does she do when her car stalls in an intersection? How does he act around his friends and other girls? How does she treat or talk about her parents? These are all things that are great to find out about a person before you start investing in him or her emotionally.
Do your homework about the person who’s caught your eye. Ask reputable, honest people who know the person well about his or her character, but avoid gossip.
In my very strong opinion, guys should pursue girls and not the other way around. I have lots and lots of reasons for this, perhaps to be shared at a later time.
So, as you can see, either a “yes” or “no” answer to this first question is perfectly acceptable. When you take some time to investigate a person AS A PERSON and NOT A PROSPECT, you can be a little more objective and do well in guarding your heart. Keep in mind, this person might be your sister’s, brother’s, or best friend’s future mate instead of yours.
Stay tuned for Question #2…